Bad Feminist audiobook

my becoming-a-genius project, part 12!for those not yet in the know - sorry for the negative impact this will have on your life, and:i have decided to become a genius.to accomplish this, i'm going to work my way through the collected stories of various authors, reading + reviewing 1 story every day until i get bored / lose every single follower / am struck down by a vengeful deity.last month, i read only books by asian authors, but i didn't think ahead enough and connect my genius project to that. this month, as i read only books with LGBTQ+ authors/rep, i will make NO SUCH MISTAKE.these are essays, not stories, but still. i make the rules and i say it counts.PROJECT 1: THE COMPLETE STORIES BY FLANNERY O'CONNORPROJECT 2: HER BODY AND OTHER PARTIES BY CARMEN MARIA MACHADOPROJECT 3: 18 BEST STORIES BY EDGAR ALLAN POEPROJECT 4: THE LOTTERY AND OTHER STORIES BY SHIRLEY JACKSONPROJECT 5: HOW LONG 'TIL BLACK FUTURE MONTH? BY N.K. JEMISINPROJECT 6: THE SHORT STORIES OF OSCAR WILDE BY OSCAR WILDEPROJECT 7: THE BLUE FAIRY BOOK BY ANDREW LANGPROJECT 8: GRAND UNION: STORIES BY ZADIE SMITHPROJECT 9: THE BEST OF ROALD DAHL BY ROALD DAHLPROJECT 10: LOVE AND FREINDSHIP BY JANE AUSTENPROJECT 11: HOMESICK FOR ANOTHER WORLD BY OTTESSA MOSHFEGHPROJECT 12: BAD FEMINIST BY ROXANE GAYDAY 1: INTRODUCTION: FEMINISM (N) PLURALi very very much liked this but also now "feminism" doesn't look like a word.rating: 4.5DAY 2: FEEL ME. SEE ME. HEAR ME. REACH ME.this was kind of a weird mishmash of different things and felt all over the place. which is cool but maybe not ideal for the second entry in a collection of essays?i'm still trying to find my footing here, man. can't just throw me in the damn pool. (that happened to me once in my final year of swim lessons, which was the pre-swim team level. some lady literally pushed me into the pool. guess what? i didn't join the swim team.)(in fairness there is not a snowball's chance in hell i would've joined it voluntarily regardless, but amping up the scope of this trauma convinced my mom it would have been cruel and unusual to make me. so.)rating: 3DAY 3, PART 1: PECULIAR BENEFITSi just realized there are like 42 essays in this story so...going to amp this up and read 2 a day. i don't have it in me to be reading the same book for a month and a half right now.this is, like...a good if not groundbreaking piece about privilege.rating: 3.25DAY 3, PART 2: TYPICAL FIRST YEAR PROFESSORi do not like the condescension toward what students wear in this - it's college? we're supposed to have grown out of high school dress code you're being distracting mentality. also it seems a little, uh, non-self-aware to use space in your essay collection about feminism to call out ways women don't dress appropriately in your eyes (sweatpants with words across the ass, bra straps exposed) that are actually kind of like. fine?anyway. if i'm not being persnickety and getting hung up on the contents of one paragraph i can admit i thought this one was very honest and sweet and good.rating: 4DAY 4, PART 1: TO SCRATCH, CLAW, OR GROPE CLUMSILY OR FRANTICALLY"I approach most things in life with a dangerous level of confidence to balance my generally low self-esteem." goals tbh.turns out i enjoy reading about competitive scrabble.rating: 3.75DAY 4, PART 2: HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH ANOTHER WOMANimmediately i am nervous about this because never once have i needed instructions on this subject.this also fairly quickly includes the sentence "If you feel like it's hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren't the problem. Maybe it's just you," which i agree with but also feels like an admission that this whole essay is pretty unnecessary.i don't know why i'm being grumpy. this is actually very sweet.rating: 4DAY 5, PART 1: GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLSthe beginning of this i loved very much. i wish this was a little more autobiographical.then again i am addicted to memoirs, so it could be that.rating: 3.75DAY 5, PART 2: I ONCE WAS MISS AMERICAthis made me want to read the sweet valley high books, which is a statement i never expected to write.rating: 4DAY 6, PART 1: GARISH, GLORIOUS SPECTACLESthe first part of this is mostly talking about two books, but then i wanted to read the two books so i didn't want them spoiled for me, so i kind of skimmed it to avoid getting too much of the stories, but then the rest of it was using the lens just created using those two books to analyze reality TV, so i feel like i didn't quite get so much out of this as i could have.no ratingDAY 6, PART 2: NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDSthis is an essay in large part about how silly it is to say a character is unlikable as a criticism of a story - which is also something i've been thinking about a lot lately.as i get older, i appreciate unlikable characters more, and also less and less often think of an unlikable character as a negative aspect of a story.this makes me want to go through every review i've ever written and redo it.also it excerpts the gone girl cool girl monologue, which is always a plus in my book.rating: 4.5DAY 7, PART 1: HOW WE ALL LOSEthis essay really made me regret reading anything by caitlin moran. f*ck you, caitlin moran.this essay also made me feel very validated in how much i was unable to enjoy The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao because of the unconscionable and unrelenting sexism, which everyone in my freshman-year lit class hated me for pointing out. (this is probably the 100th time i've mentioned.)and thirdly, this essay made me really hope the lit-crit essays stop coming one after another. is that the whole book? go back please.rating: 3.75 DAY 7, PART 2: REACHING FOR CATHARSIS: GETTING FAT RIGHT (OR WRONG) AND DIANA SPECHLER'S SKINNYthis was so excellent. we need more addresses of fatphobia like this.rating: 4.5DAY 8, PART 1: THE SMOOTH SURFACES OF IDYLL"Sometimes, and especially as a writer, I feel like I have no idea what happiness is, what it looks like, what it feels like, how to show it on the page."to quote john mulaney: THAT'S THE THING I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT!rating: 4.25DAY 8, PART 2: THE CARELESS LANGUAGE OF SEXUAL VIOLENCEbold move of me to spend my morning reading essays with titles like this one! what a way to start the day, and so on.this has some very good insights and a compelling thesis and it was so insanely short.rating: 4DAY 9, PART 1: WHAT WE HUNGER FORwhoa.rating: 4.5DAY 9, PART 2: THE ILLUSION OF SAFETY / THE SAFETY OF ILLUSIONi find this a very outdated and deliberately inconsiderate view of trigger warnings - especially because people rarely, if ever, expect trigger warnings from the author themselves and will instead seek them out from readers. going out of your way to get irritated about something no one is asking for is very terminally online behavior (derogatory).rating: 1DAY 10, PART 1: THE SPECTACLE OF BROKEN MENthis was kind of a presentation of facts, as far as these things go, but i'm not sure how one would even present an opinion on this. obviously famous athletes include violent criminals in their number; obviously this is a bad thing; obviously it's an inextricable part of professional sports and it's hard to imagine how to address something so pervasive.rating: 3.5DAY 10, PART 2: A TALE OF THREE COMING OUT STORIESthis one is weird because it literally says that supporting musicians like tyler the creator is wrong to do, because he uses homophobic slurs in his music. but tyler the creator is queer, so i'm not sure what i'm supposed to be getting out of this.no ratingDAY 11, PART 1: BEYOND THE MEASURE OF MENanother good if very done-before discussion of "women's fiction" that made me glad i deleted my chick lit shelf recently.i just think the name chick lit is cute.rating: 3.5DAY 11, PART 2: SOME JOKES ARE FUNNIER THAN OTHERSagain, i mean, yeah. this is correct.rating: 3.5DAY 12, PART 1: TO THE YOUNG LADIES WHO LOVE CHRIS BROWN SO MUCH THEY WOULD LET HIM BEAT THEMthis one was very, very good. rating: 4.5DAY 12, PART 2: BLURRED LINES, INDEEDanother excellent one. rating: 4.5DAY 13, PART 1: THE TROUBLE WITH PRINCE CHARMING, OR HE WHO TRESPASSED AGAINST USmy library loan of this expires tomorrow and even though there is a beautiful renew button it is merely a torture device i cannot use, so i'm going to try to finish this today. day 13 will have a lot of parts.honestly i wish this was more about fairytales and romance novels in general than just fifty shades, but this is still necessary criticism, i guess. though i think most people are already aware their dream relationship shouldn't be based off fifty shades?rating: 3.25DAY 13, PART 2: THE SOLACE OF PREPARING FRIED FOODS AND OTHER QUAINT REMEMBRANCES FROM 1960S MISSISSIPPI: THOUGHTS ON THE HELPi read the help when i was in 5th grade and i loved it, something i now find (before reading this essay and to be honest even more so after) very embarrassing and will rectify with a reread and re-review soon.rating: 4.5DAY 13, PART 3: SURVIVING DJANGOthis was very f*cking good.i apologize for being cranky at how much of this is criticism - the author is truly great at it.rating: 5DAY 13, PART 4: BEYOND THE STRUGGLE NARRATIVEi don't know if 12 Years a Slave, being as it is based on the actual story of a slave as he told it, is the best candidate for a lot of this critique, but the unwillingness of critics / awards ceremonies to praise Black movies that aren't about Black pain is a really goddamn needed one.rating: 3.75DAY 13, PART 5: THE MORALITY OF TYLER PERRYwhen the critique is one of a kind and complex >>>>that's probably the dorkiest thing i've ever said.rating: 4.25DAY 13, PART 6: THE LAST DAY OF A YOUNG BLACK MANall right. i will come back to this and finish it either later today or tomorrow because bingeing all these stories like this is antithetical to the whole of the genius project!!!this was seemingly more summary than criticism? more time was spent detailing the events that occurred in fruitvale station than really analyzing them.rating: 3.5DAY 13.5, PART 1: WHEN LESS IS MORElet's do this.(it's technically the night of day 13 but we will forgive that transgression.) (okay originally i labeled this day 14 but now i'm going back and changing it to 13.5.)i have never seen orange is the new black (my cultural ignorance is REALLY showing in this genius project) but this was a good critique of it. i think.rating: 4DAY 13.5, PART 2: THE POLITICS OF RESPECTABILITYstill night of day 13. there are 8 more stories. imagine how long this would have taken me if i'd done it normally.i don't really think it's my place to rate this one but i thought it was excellent.no ratingDAY 13.5, PART 3: WHEN TWITTER DOES WHAT JOURNALISM CANNOTi am both twitter's biggest fan and biggest hater so i'm eagerly anticipating this one. also follow me on twitter. i'm on there even more than here.as expected i loved this.rating: 4.5DAY 13.5, PART 4: THE ALIENABLE RIGHTS OF WOMENi truly think that to be anti-choice is one of the least empathetic things you can be. i have known many people who quietly believe they know better than others, in broad strokes and in sweeping declarations. i have had very real feelings very recently (even maybe now) for people who feel that they know better than women at large, even as they are typically very caring and kind people.it is the most discombobulating thing.anyway. i'm on Nexplanon and i adore it even though it makes me bleed unpredictably from the vagina. such is the world we live in.rating: 4.5DAY 13.5, PART 5: HOLDING OUT FOR A HEROi kind of lost the thread of this one, unfortunately.rating: 3.5DAY 14, PART 1: A TALE OF TWO PROFILESokay. it's officially day 14; i am coming to you live from a moving vehicle but i took a horrific motion sickness pill so i will hopefully survive reading; i was wine drunk and reeling from a surprise loss to my basketball team of choice last night so i apologize if i were more R-rated than my typical PG-13. however it is important to me that i maintain my reputation as the cool book nerd who gets laid.the profile / profiling through line here is so satisfying and extraordinarily well done.rating: 4.5DAY 14, PART 2: THE RACISM WE ALL CARRYthe running theme of my experience with these stories is that they all feel like they were written very quickly and effortlessly by a very smart person - but with editing and further reflection they could be better.this story about the "rules of racism" describes the paula deen deposition and relates an anecdote, but there's very little in between and it's FRUSTRATING.rating: 3.75DAY 14, PART 3: TRAGEDY. CALL. COMPASSION. RESPONSE.this one still fell under the irritating category i outlined above, but i liked it anyway.rating: 4.25DAY 14, PART 4: BAD FEMINIST: TAKE ONEhonestly i think the ways roxane gay claims to be a bad feminist are the ways that make her version of feminism so appealing.rating: 4DAY 14, PART 5: BAD FEMINIST: TAKE TWOwhat i just said, but even more so.rating: 5OVERALLthis collection felt, at many points, half-baked to me, but it's to the credit of roxane gay that even when it seems as though she's not trying very hard to carry across a point, the point itself (and really the way her brain operates) is interesting enough in and of itself.aka i will read more stuff by her.rating: 4---------------reading all books with LGBTQ+ rep for pride this month!book 1: the gravity of usbook 2: the great american whateverbook 3: wild beautybook 4: the affair of the mysterious letterbook 5: how we fight for our livesbook 6: blue lily, lily bluebook 7: the times i knew i was gaybook 8: conventionally yoursbook 9: the hollow insidebook 10: nimonabook 11: dark and deepest redbook 12: the house in the cerulean seabook 13: the raven kingbook 14: violet ghostsbook 15: as far as you'll take mebook 16: bad feminist

This book tells us about the evolution of Roxane Gay as a woman and as a feminist. She shares with us the wisdom she acquired through the reading of hundreds of books in a unique way. The eclectic collection of books she reads is praiseworthy. She touches almost all the subjects under the sun in this book. We might be surprised to see the amount of knowledge she possesses on each topic and the unique way she talks about everything. I particularly liked the way the author discusses race, culture, and feminism. Seeing the world through her eyes will give the readers an effervescent experience. What I learned from this book 1) Why is it said that pseudo-feminists are the biggest threat to feminism? We have reached an age where some people pretend to be feminists to get public attention. The negative things done by these pseudo-feminists are actually repelling many people away from feminism. The author tells us why it is important for us to understand that it is a problem with the people, not the movement. "When feminism falls short of our expectations, we decide the problem is with feminism rather than with the flawed people who act in the name of the movement." 2) First Amendment and freedom of speech The author explains why the first amendment's misinterpretation is causing many problems. "Somewhere along the line we started misinterpreting the First Amendment and this idea of the freedom of speech the amendment grants us. We are free to speak as we choose without fear of prosecution or persecution, but we are not free to speak as we choose without consequence." 3) Qui tacet consentire videtur When we see injustice, we should protest. If we remain silent, the opposing person will take it as consent. The author is describing something compelling that can change many lives here. "All too often, when we see injustices, both great and small, we think, That's terrible, but we do nothing. We say nothing. We let other people fight their own battles. We remain silent because silence is easier. Qui tacet consentire videtur is Latin for 'Silence gives consent.' When we say nothing, when we do nothing, we are consenting to these trespasses against us." My favourite three lines from this book “I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.” “If people cannot be flawed in fiction there's no place left for us to be human.” "Feminism is a choice, and if a woman does not want to be a feminist, that is her right, but it is still my responsibility to fight for her rights. I believe feminism is grounded in supporting the choices of women even if we wouldn't make certain choices for ourselves." What could have been better? I think the author devoted a lot of time to some popular topics in society when she wrote this book. Reading this book around a decade after it was first published will definitely make you think about the unwanted attention given by the author to popular topics at that time, like the lengthy criticism of 50 shades of Grey, Hunger Games, and reality TV. The author should have concentrated on more serious topics instead of chasing pop culture. The title of this book can be considered a misnomer as we expect a lot of ideas about feminism in this book. Feminism is discussed for just around 100 pages in this book which has 320 pages. Rating 4/5 Despite the few negatives I discussed above, I think this is a great book to read if you want to know more about feminism.

This was a very sophisticated book that blended memoir with an educational resource perfectly. I think the chapter that will stick with me most is the one about female characters having the quality of likability held over their heads moreso than male characters, and readers don't ever realize that. It wasn't something I'd never thought about before, and it made me think critically about my expectations of female characters. I'm just gonna let the quote speak for itself:"In a Publishers Weekly interview with Claire Messud about her novel The Woman Upstairs, which features a rather 'unlikable' protagonist, Nora, who is bitter, bereft, and downright angry about what her life has become, the interviewer said, 'I wouldn't want to be friends with Nora, would you?' And there we have it. A reader was here to make friends with the characters in a book and she didn't like what she found. Messud, for her part, had a sharp response for her interviewer.'For heaven's sake, what kind of question is that? Would you want to be friends with Humbert Humbert? Would you want to be friends with Mickey Sabbath? Saleem Sinai? Hamlet? Krapp? OEdipus? Oscar Mao? Antigone? . . . If you're reading to find friends, you're in deep trouble. We read to find life, in all its possibilities. The relevant question isn't "Is this a potential friend for me?" but "Is this character alive?"'"

I've been on the look-out to read more feminist books, but most of the ones I tried reading before focus heavily on either privileged males and/ or sexual assaults, which then leads to me feeling terrified to leave my home...However, Bad Feminist focuses more on Gay's opinions about “misogyny, institutional sexism that consistently places women at a disadvantage, the inequity in pay, the cult of beauty and thinness, the repeated attacks on reproductive freedom, violence against women, and on and on.” And I felt strongly included. Roxane Gay's wit is so sharp and on point, I couldn't help but be instantly swept away into her writing voice. Her essays reached me, made me feel like I was a part of something.“I am a bad feminist. I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”In Bad Feminist, Gay takes us through the journey of her evolution as a woman of color while also taking readers on a ride through culture of the last few years and commenting on the state of feminism today. The portrait that emerges is not only one of an incredibly insightful woman continually growing to understand herself and our society, but also one of our culture.There were so many great essays that it was simply too tempting not to share my favorites quotes from each and every one of them: Feel Me. See Me. Hear Me. Reach Me. “So many of us are reaching out, hoping someone out there will grab our hands and remind us we are not as alone as we fear.”Exactly how reading this collection felt like!!“ I learned about how ignorant I am. I am still working to correct this.” Peculiar Benefits “Privilege is a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor. There is racial privilege, gender (and identity) privilege, heterosexual privilege, economic privilege, able-bodied privilege, educational privilege, religious privilege, and the list goes on and on. At some point, you have to surrender to the kinds of privilege you hold. Nearly everyone, particularly in the developed world, has something someone else doesn’t, something someone else yearns for.”Going into these essays, it was very important for me to get educated about certain kinds of privileges, and Roxane Gay did so in the most informative way.“You could, however, use that privilege for the greater good—to try to level the playing field for everyone, to work for social justice, to bring attention to how those without certain privileges are disenfranchised. We’ve seen what the hoarding of privilege has done, and the results are shameful.” How to Be Friends with Another Woman When I read the table of contents, I was so damn excited to get to this essay. And it was just as great as I had hoped it be.“Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses—pretty but designed to SLOW women down.”“If you feel like it’s hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren’t the problem. Maybe it’s just you.”“Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it’s probably going to be easier for you to be happy.”My mother’s favorite saying is “Qui se ressemble s’assemble.” Whenever she didn’t approve of who I was spending time with, she’d say this ominously. It means, essentially, you are whom you surround yourself with.”This saying, thanks to my mom also educating me about this when I way younger, turned out to be one of my favorite sayings too. I Once Was Miss America “Nostalgia is powerful. It is natural, human, to long for the past, particularly when we can remember our histories as better than they were. Life happens faster than I can comprehend. I am nearly forty, but my love of Sweet Valley remains strong and immediate. When I read the books now, I know I’m reading garbage, but I remember what it was like to spend my afternoons in Sweet Valley, hanging out with the Wakefield twins and Enid Rollins and Lila Fowler and Bruce Patman and Todd Wilkins and Winston Egbert. The nostalgia I feel for these books and these people makes my chest ache.”I'm so glad that Gay captured this feeling because quite a few books make me feel the same.“Books are often far more than just books.”And since we're on the topic, Roxane gave so many great recommendations throughout this collection. I have now, thanks to her, promptly added: Dare Me, by Megan Abbott & Battleborn, by Claire Vaye Watkins. She made them sound so compelling and intricate. Not Here to Make Friends “My memory of men is never lit up and illuminated like my memory of women.”—MARGUERITE DURAS, The LoverThis essay talked about "unlikable" women in literature and what likability exactly means. And it completely shifted my worldview.Gay features a phenomenal quote from a Publishers Weekly interview with Claire Messud about her novel The Woman Upstairs:“If you’re reading to find friends, you’re in deep trouble. We read to find life, in all its possibilities. The relevant question isn’t “Is this a potential friend for me?” but “Is this character alive?”And in her own brilliants words, Roxane adds:“...but the ongoing question of character likability leaves the impression that what we’re looking for in fiction is an ideal world where people behave in ideal ways. The question suggests that characters should be reflections not of us, but of our better selves.”She has incredible last sentences!Also, I quickly want to mention that throughout this collection I could actually feel Roxane's passion for literature and storytelling. I could feel how reading really is her first love, as she mentioned, through her great book recommendations. Reaching for Catharsis:Getting Fat Right (or Wrong) and Diana Spechler’s Skinny I still cannot stop thinking about this essay.“I don’t think I know any woman who doesn’t hate herself and her body at least a little bit. Bodily obsession is, perhaps, a human condition because of its inescapability.”It was so deeply personal and detailed that I was moved more than once. And it was, ultimately, honest and breathtakingly alive.“Sometimes, a bold, sort of callous person will ask me how I got so fat. They want to know the why. “You’re so smart,” they say, as if stupidity is the only explanation for obesity. And of course, there’s that bit about having such a pretty face, what a shame it is to waste it. I never know what to tell these people. There is the truth, certainly. This thing happened and then this other thing happened and it was terrible and I knew I didn’t want either of those things to happen again and eating felt safe. French fries are delicious and I’m naturally lazy too so that didn’t help. I never know what I’m supposed to say, so I mostly say nothing. I don’t share my catharsis with these inquisitors.” A Tale of Three Coming Out Stories This piece talked about people with high public profiles and the boundaries they do/ don't receive.“This is, in part, a matter of privacy. What information do we have the right to keep to ourselves? What boundaries are we allowed to maintain in our personal lives? What do we have a right to know about the lives of others? When do we have a right to breach the boundaries others have set for themselves?People with high public profiles are allowed very few boundaries. In exchange for the erosion of privacy, they receive fame and/or fortune and/or power. Is this a fair price? Are famous people aware of how they are sacrificing privacy when they ascend to a position of cultural prominence?”“We tend to forget that culturally prominent figures are as sacred to those they love as the people closest to us. We tend to forget that they are flesh and blood. We assume that as they rise to prominence, they shed their inalienable rights. We do this without question.”“Heterosexuals take the privacy of their sexuality for granted. They can date, marry, and love whom they choose without needing to disclose much of anything. If they do choose to disclose, there are rarely negative consequences.”“The world we live in is not as progressive as we need it to be.”“For every step forward, there is some asshole shoving progress back.”“There are injustices great and small, and even if we can only fight the small ones, at least we are fighting.” The Trouble with Prince Charming, or He Who Trespassed Against Us As the title might suggest, this essay confronts the trouble with prince charming in fairy tales and literature.“I enjoy fairy tales because I need to believe, despite my cynicism, that there is a happy ending for everyone, especially me. The older I get, though, the more I realize how fairy tales demand a great deal from the woman. The man in most fairy tales, Prince Charming in all his iterations, really isn’t that interesting. In most fairy tales, he is blandly attractive and rarely seems to demonstrate much personality, taste, or intelligence. We’re supposed to believe this is totally fine because he is Prince Charming. His charm is supposedly enough.”Then she offers a detailed view on the Disney princes, and I was living for this!!“In The Little Mermaid, Prince Eric has a great woman right in front of him but is so obsessed with this pretty voice he once heard he can’t appreciate what he has. In Snow White, the prince doesn’t even find Snow White until she is comatose, and he is so lacking in imagination he simply falls in love with her seemingly lifeless body. In Beauty and the Beast, Belle is given away by her father to the Beast himself, and then must endure the attentions of a man who essentially views her as chattel. Only through sacrificing herself, and loving a beast of a man, can she finally learn that he is, in fact, a handsome prince.”“The woman in the fairy tale is generally the one who pays the price. This seems to be the nature of sacrifice.” Holding Out for a Hero “There’s a great deal about our culture that is aspirational—from how we educate ourselves, to the cars we drive, to where we work and live and socialize. We want to be the best. We want the best of everything. All too often, we are aware of the gaping distance between who we are and whom we aspire to be and we desperately try to close that distance.”So much YES to the last sentence!!“In theory, justice should be simple. Justice should be blind. You are innocent until proven guilty. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to be judged by a jury of your peers. The principles on which our justice system was founded clearly outline how our judicial system should function.Few things work in practice as well as they do in theory. Justice is anything but blind. All too often, the people who most need justice benefit the least. The statistics about who is incarcerated and how incarceration affects their future prospects are bleak.”“Trayvon Martin is neither the first nor the last young black man who will be murdered because of the color of his skin. If there is such a thing as justice for a young man whose life was taken too soon, I hope justice comes from all of us learning from what happened. I hope we can rise to the occasion of greatness, where greatness is nothing more than trying to overcome our lesser selves by seeing a young man like Trayvon Martin for what he is: a young man, a boy without a cape, one who couldn’t even walk home from the store unharmed, let alone fly.”One of the most important essays. Bad Feminist: Take Two “I am supposed to be a good feminist who is having it all, doing it all. Really, though, I’m a woman in her thirties struggling to accept herself and her credit score. For so long I told myself I was not this woman—utterly human and flawed. I worked overtime to be anything but this woman, and it was exhausting and unsustainable and even harder than simply embracing who I am.” Simply put, Bad Feminist completely captivated me.I enjoyed the fact that as I read this collection, I didn’t feel like I was really reading. I felt like Roxane Gay was talking and discussing with me. Her voice is distinct throughout this collection. And while some essays left a profound mark on me, others were simply entertaining to read in the moment. There is, indeed, something to admire in each piece.And it all comes down to this: Roxane Gay brings intelligence, gravitas, and heart to her words, so that even reading about her winning tournaments in competitive Scrabble read like the most fascinating piece of writing. She's talented and powerful beyond measure in my eyes.4.5/5 stars*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Bad Feminist, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!* Support creators you love. Buy a Coffee for nat (bookspoils) with Ko-fi.com/bookspoils

I openly embrace the label of bad feminist. I do so because I am flawed and human. I am not terribly well versed in feminist history. I am not as well read in key feminist texts as I would like to be. I have certain... interests and personality traits and opinions that may not fall in line with mainstream feminism, but I am still a feminist. I cannot tell you how freeing it has been to accept this about myself.In her collection of essays Bad Feminist, Roxane Gay blends anecdote, critical analysis, and humor to create a set of pieces that feel human. She admits to not knowing all the answers, and to hear an empowered, intelligent, and independent woman say that feels so refreshing. She writes about a gamut of topics: feminism, race, pop culture, and more. She tears apart the abusive and unhealthy relationship portrayed in 50 Shades of Grey, she discusses how and why she loves The Hunger Games, she comments on the unhelpful way white directors portray black characters, and more. As a professor of English and an avid follower of pop culture, her ability to discern trends and patterns within the media shone through. This passage about the unnecessary prominence of likeable characters acts as just of her many thoughtful arguments:In many ways, likability is a very elaborate lie, a performance, a code of conduct dictating the proper way to be. Characters who don't follow this code become unlikeable. Critics who criticize a character's unlikability cannot necessarily be faulted. They are merely expressing a wider cultural malaise with all things unpleasant, all things that dare to breach the norm of social acceptability.Gay still stands out the most in her acceptance of imperfection. In her introduction, she writes that "feminism is flawed because it is a movement powered by people and people are inherently flawed" and that "we hold feminism to an unreasonable standard where the movement must be everything we want and must always bake the best choices." In this collection of essays, Gay accomplishes so much: she writes about the intersectionality of race and gender, she establishes a consistent, wry, and sharp voice, and she includes an entire chapter about Scrabble that made me laugh and want to read more, more, and more. But, even though she accomplishes so much, she recognizes her own contradictions and the contradictions inherent within the human condition. She strikes a rough and fitting balance by ending her book by admitting this:I am a bad feminist. I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.

5 stars for helping me expand my thinking and self-reflection. I'll be returning to this audio collection of essays on much more than "just" feminism.

Fabulous. Great read. So much I could relate to, but also so much that I'd never thought about. I didn't agree with all of it, but I don't need to agree to grow and learn from an opinion. My only complaint is that it wasn't longer. I wanted more more more. Thumbs up. Also, now I feel a little less conflicted about cranking up J Cole's 2014 Forest Hills Drive album (it's not the worst in terms of vulgarity, but it's got plenty that I have a problem with...yet it's so good). I see myself as more of a tricksy feminist, but yes, a feminist, nonetheless.

When I became active on social media, and began expressing my opinions openly, I was tagged as a feminist. Even though I didn't care for labels, I didn't mind this one: I did believe in equal rights for women. I was naive enough to assume that was all there to it.Apparently not.I came to understand that as a feminist, I am supposed to behave only in certain ways, express only certain opinions, and hold only certain ideas. If I went against any of these, I was immediately attacked as a "bad feminist". After a couple of bad experiences online, I generally started staying away from these debates, and happily shed the tag of feminist. Now I could rest easy, and speak my mind without being held to some universal standards.Because I have so many deeply held opinions about gender equality, I feel a lot of pressure to live up to certain ideals. I am supposed to be a good feminist who is having it all, doing it all. Really, though, I’m a woman in her thirties struggling to accept herself and her credit score. For so long I told myself I was not this woman—utterly human and flawed. I worked overtime to be anything but this woman, and it was exhausting and unsustainable and even harder than simply embracing who I am. Maybe I’m a bad feminist, but I am deeply committed to the issues important to the feminist movement. I have strong opinions about misogyny, institutional sexism that consistently places women at a disadvantage, the inequity in pay, the cult of beauty and thinness, the repeated attacks on reproductive freedom, violence against women, and on and on. I am as committed to fighting fiercely for equality as I am committed to disrupting the notion that there is an essential feminism. When I read this passage from this book of essays by Roxane Gay, I shouted: "My sister!" and hugged her virtually. It was nice to hear someone - that too, a talented woman - echoing my sentiments.Mind you - Roxane is a feminist. She fiercely believes in equality for women, and is up in arms against anything that hinders or trivialises the struggle for the same. She just refuses to buy into the mythical image of the militant feminist that society has created - because any type of standardisation is unrealistic. We human beings are an infinitely varied lot.If you go into the book looking for heavy essays on feminism, you would be disappointed. This is haphazard collection, where Roxane talks about herself and her struggles, race identities, racism, sexism, racism/ sexism in popular culture, and even her triumphs and failures at scrabble. The essays are a mixed bag; but each one, eminently readable. (And insanely quotable. Just look at my status updates.)I guess this "Bad Feminist" has converted me into her fan!

It is awe-inspiring to go for a ride inside Roxane Gay's head and heart. She opens up the conversation on the word feminism, talks about her own shortcomings, and labels this word is affiliated with. She writes of her own thoughts about current events as well as past. Feminism is a demand for equal rights for women in all areas of life, yet it has become a word with endless connotations. It is truly staggering to read how sexual violence against women is embedded in our culture. How conservative politicians want control of women's bodies, and are succeeding through current legislation. Seven states require women to receive a transvaginal ultrasound before they receive abortions - a rape in and of itself. Thirty five states require counseling to varying degrees of specificity. Twenty six states require written material to be given. The restrictions just seem to keep on coming. Gay, states, " In 2011, fifty five percent of all women in the U.S. lived in states hostile to abortion rights, and reproductive freedom." Further, "If politicians can't prevent women from having abortions, they are certainly going to punish them." If the U.S. is founded on the principle of inalienable rights, these rights no longer include women. What freedom do women have if their very bodies are legislated? This is coupled with the fact that women live in a "rape culture." Where women no longer talk of "if" they will be raped, but "when." Gay, through her many commentaries tackles multiple issues, including, reality T.V., the term "women's fiction," the Publishers Weekly interview with Claire Messud and her novel "The Woman Upstairs," rape stories on T.V., and Rosie O'Donnell's objection to the show Law and Order: SVU are but a few.The issues Gay has written of are many. As a woman myself, a few quotes struck me as crucial: "Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses - pretty but designed to SLOW women down.""A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology.""Don't tear another woman down, because even if they are not your friends, they are women and this is just as important.""Feminism is a choice, and if a woman does not want to be a feminist, that is her right, but it is still my responsibility to fight for her rights."Thanks Roxane Gay for such a profound and timely book. This line is my favorite..."One of my favorite moments is when a guy, at a certain point in a relationship, says something desperately hopeful like, "are you on the pill?" I simply say, "no, are you?"

In the past, I've felt essays were tedious to read. Not that I didn't enjoy reading some. But it never struck me that perhaps it wasn't the genre but rather the author that wasn't working for me. Because Roxane Gay really works for me. Bad Feminist is a collection of Roxane Gay's essays divided into categories like Gender & Sexuality, Race & Entertainment and how Politics affects both of the above. Of course, I enjoyed some essays more than others so here's a list of my favorites—Peculiar Benefits: Gay speaks about privilege and how it's time we recognize our own. She also talks about how people online have become "self-appointed privilege police" which was a very interesting perspective, something that had never occured to me.How We All Lose: Gay discusses books like Hanna Rosin's The End of Men: And the Rise of Women and Caitlin Moran's How to Be a Woman. While acknowledging that there are some well-made points in Rosin's book, she criticizes her problematic selectivity while presenting facts, and points out that what Rosin considers to be better conditions for women, is not good enough. Gay also calls Moran out for her opinion that women should not wear burkas and is baffled by her casual racism in the book. The essay also talks of the appalling and infuriating anti-abortion statements made by various US politicians about 'legitimate rape' (I'd never even heard of the term before). The Careless Language of Sexual Violence: The essay starts with the criticism of the New York Times victim-blaming article about the gang rape of an eleven-year-old girl in Texas. Gay further discusses the terrible consequences that we face due to rape culture. The fact that the word 'rape' is used casually and thrown around in jokes has diminished the gravity and effects of it which is utterly disturbing. The Spectacle of Broken Men: "We live in a culture where athletes are revered, and overlooking terrible, criminal behavior is the price we are seemingly willing to pay for our reverence." In this essay, Gay talks about the Jerry Sandusky (an American football coach who sexually abused children for years) case which I had no clue about. I had to Google and read up on it in detail because it was just horrifying. Some Jokes Are Funnier Than Others: "Rape humor is designed to remind women that they are still not quite equal." This essay hit home. I want everyone I know to read this. Gay believes that inappropriate humor is great, still there is a line that no comedian should cross. For example, rape jokes. She speaks of Daniel Tosh who is known to make rape jokes and misogynistic jokes with no remorse. Frankly, I'd never heard of the man before but I absolutely detest him now. "Rape humor is not "just jokes" or "stand-up". Humor about sexual violence suggests permissiveness—not for people who would never commit such acts but for the people who have whatever weakness allows them to do terrible things unto others."The Alienable Rights of Women: I absolutely loved this essay. Gay writes about how the government, (especially men), believe they have the right to govern women's bodies while the same has never been done for men. How they have little or no regard for women's lives and choices. "It is a small miracle women do not have short memories about our rights that have always, shamefully, been alienable."A Tale of Two Profiles: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is a young, white man who was identified as one of the two terrorists responsible for the bombings at the Boston Marathon. Trayvon Martin was a young, black boy who was murdered and his murderer, George Zimmerman, was acquitted. While there was public empathy for Tsarnaev even though he was responsible for killing people, the trial for Zimmerman desperately tried to paint Trayvon Martin as a criminal. "Only in America can a dead black boy go on trial for his own murder." The Racism We All Carry: Everyone's a little bit racist. Roxane Gay has an amazing and unique way with words; I would have never imagined I'd enjoy reading essays. There are serveral beautiful and powerful quotes in this book that gave me goosebumps. The only reason I've withheld one star is because in some essays, several books and movies I had no clue about were reviewed, so it felt like a task to read through it. Also, I'm glad I read Gone Girl before I read this because spoilers were aplenty. Overall, a wonderful read. Highly recommended.

Show me a strong black woman with opinions and I'll show you a line of detractors ready to fill her web page, her blog, and her book reviews with negative comments and thinly veiled slurs.The more Roxane Gay I read the more Roxane Gay I want to read. Not because we're so much alike, but because we're so different and because we took such different paths (I being a fifty-something privileged white man) to reach the same conclusions. As I consumed Bad Feminist I found myself literally nodding in agreement, raising eyebrows in occasional astonishment, laughing out loud at her jokes and shedding a tear or twenty in painful empathy. Gay, much like Lindy West, gifts me a perspective I would not otherwise have had. Every essay, every insight, ultimately becomes a piece of the mosaic of my worldview.

I don’t know why I’ve waited this long to read one of Roxane Gay’s books. I’ve read pieces she’s done for various publications, I’ve seen interviews she’s given and I hang off her every word on Twitter (highly recommend following her, btw, she reviews books, people and [formerly] airlines.) In fact it was 10 days ago when she tweeted about Bad Feminist going into its 18th printing that I decided now was as good of a time as any to dive into her backlist. The main reason I think I haven’t read her books is that I don’t really do much nonfiction, and of those I do very few are essay collections. So I’m even more thankful that the audiobook version, read by Bahni Turpin, was available on Overdrive. Turpin does an excellent job capturing the tone I can imagine Gay using if she had done the narration herself. She brought the words to life and made it feel like a friend was just telling me a story instead of reading me an essay.Bad Feminist covers a variety of topics, most centering around feminism (duh), but also included are the intersectional parts of Gay’s identity and some more personal parts of her life. For example, there’s an essay on competitive Scrabble competitions, which I really enjoyed, even as someone who isn’t particularly good at the game. This essay is also where one of her infamous ‘nemeses’ is discussed, and as a very nosy person I am very interested in finding more out about these people.Additionally I loved the analyses of pop culture figures, including: Quentin Tarantino, Robin Thicke, Daniel Tosh, Tyler Perry and so on. Some of these were a little more relevant when the book was originally published in 2014, but plenty hold up exceptionally well. The movie The Help, based off of the book, has recently come under renewed scrutiny when it catapulted to the top of Netflix’s Trending page after the George Floyd protests. Gay’s examination of American culture’s obsession with the ‘White Savior’ narrative feels timely, but was in fact ahead of its time for most white people I know, myself included. The way these essays seem almost prophetic now only make me wish I had read this book years ago.But this book is not limited to just film reviews. Gay discusses more serious topics as well, from discrimination she’s faced as a black, female member of academia to her own experiences with sexual violence. As separate as any of these subjects seem, they’re all connected through the society that continuously enables them. Opening up honestly not just about the details of these assaults and slights, but the way she’s able to move through the world afterwards, I think will be helpful to a large number of people who have been through something similar. It won’t make any of it okay, but it might provide some hope or relief.Though these essays may appear to carry contradictions, that’s what in the end ties them all together. Gay is, like all of us, an imperfect feminist. But feminism doesn’t require perfection in order to be committed to the cause. It just requires some sense of self-reflection and a good amount of listening to those the movement has in the past ignored. Roxane Gay acknowledges her privilege, so we can too. She enjoys things she’s maybe ‘not supposed to’, so we can too. She speaks up when she sees injustice, so we should too.